My back injury taught me more about life than I could have ever imagined.
I'm in London. A city that inspires me beyond measure – and one where I always feel comfort and ease due to the vibrant energy here. Being here gave me the confidence to write again, which was kind of on hold. An added benefit for Ms. K is that I can wear my all-black wardrobe and totally 'blend in.' Let's call this the 'little' joys of life.
I've been doing some "deep reflecting," and for the first time in my life – I feel calm and at peace – which is the opposite of the 'madman' phase I was in for the last seven years. Of course, that is also one of the perks of building a startup - which is generally hectic.
By the way - don't believe anyone who tells you that when you are building a company, it won't be endless days and nights of intense work – plus a constant feeling of having to pivot due to the ever-changing demands of the world and the markets. (We're seeing this even more now, and I will tell you first hand it is not easy to build and sustain a business in the long run in the current economy.) I share this because I went through the motions, waves, and endless challenges of those years to get to where I am today, and I wouldn't change a thing, but it was super challenging.
Different stages of life require different performance outputs, and therefore we naturally have ever-changing goals. Mine, for sure, have changed this year.
When I tell people around me that my main goal for 2023 is to "be calm, and in the present moment," – I get a sigh, gentle smile, or comment about how - "Wow - that is an ambitious goal." There is almost a subtle tone and underlying notion that something is 'wrong' with this goal. (Remember – you set your own goals, and only you are the only one accountable for attaining those. Therefore, – no goal is ever silly if it is meaningful to you!)
Why is being calm my goal for the year, by the way?
Certain life events change us – or change our perspective on things.
Last August, I endured a back injury – which I am still slowly recovering from. In a sense, it's a 'medical mystery' where I have spent more hours at the doctor's offices in the last 6-months than I have throughout my entire 38 years of existence. This injury has impacted my mental, physical, and overall emotional well-being, and people wonder, "Why is this social-emotional learning expert not always happy?"
You can't be happy and smiling all the time when you are in constant pain. This experience has given me a whole new perspective on people living with chronic pain and even more reason never to judge or assume what anyone is going through. As crazy as this sounds, now I am grateful for the pain and the injury, as I didn't realize how good I had it at times.
This experience taught me a profound life lesson. We can never take our health for granted. For all those years when I put my mind and body through hell with my substance abuse – I wasn't genuinely thinking about my health. It never occurred to me what a gift it was to be able to go to the gym, go for a walk, or do a yoga session with ease. I took it for granted, as I took a lot of sh*t for granted. Thank you, universe, for putting me through this experience and teaching me more than I could ever have learned without this injury. Two weeks ago, when I was cleared to go to the gym, I cried for an entire day, and I can't tell you how much my spirit and mood have changed.
It's a gift to wake up and have another day on this Earth.
It's a gift to have running water, food in your fridge, and a place to call home. (This one is huge and surreal to me, as I am one week away from moving into my own home. I've been renting a place for the last 15 years and knew that having a home would give me grounding and comfort.) It is also a sign that I am placing my roots somewhere – and for those that know me - know that I was always on the go and onto the 'next grand adventure.'
It's a gift that I can work in higher education after decades in K-12. To be in a cutting-edge business environment where I can learn new things - even analytical skills I never saw coming is kind of cool. No - I still don't love excel, but I see the value.:)
It's a gift that I have a profession that allows for 'breaks' in the middle of the year where I can travel and experience the world.
It's a gift that I have people I can call daily and tell them I love and miss them, and they are in my heart.
It's a gift that I have a car that takes me places and allows me to think and clear my thoughts.
It's a gift that I can help individuals create their dreams and visions and see them succeed. I thrive when people around me thrive and are happy. I truly enjoy this more than anything else in life.
This calmness is changing me. I've been much quieter on social media – as I don't feel the need to prove anything to anyone. Instead, I'm observing, experimenting, and listening more than speaking or sharing my own thoughts.
I'm in a discovery phase. I'm not rushing. I was always rushing, that in hindsight, ruined my productivity and took away the joys of the present moment. It feels like I slept through much of my existence now that I think about it.
My dear reader. This a gentle invitation to do whatever feels right for you. Don't focus so much on the noise around you but focus on what feels right to you and for you.
For example – I'm not in a phase where I want the hustle and bustle of selling my services. I'm organically building my new business through word-of-mouth marketing in the most beautiful way because when I show up – I show up fully in every area of my life, and people sense that.
Don't forget: Activity is not a metric for success. Set your own goals without the world dictating what you should and shouldn't be doing. I am confident you will feel more at ease. Or at least try it and let me know how it goes?
XOXO, Ms.K
Comments