What's up with anxiety?

How Anxiety and Caring What Others Think Are Intrinsically Connected 🖇

Happy Tuesday, World!

Today, let's dive deep into a topic that hits close to home for many of us: anxiety and its curious connection to caring about what others think.

Stress and feeling anxious to the point where I couldn't breathe, or the feeling of someone sitting on my chest, feel all too familiar. For the first few months of moving back to the States last year, I thought my feelings of worry, doubt, and overwhelm would not go away, and I was in a constant state of #anxiety.

The absolute truth is that each of us is unique, yet we often find ourselves getting caught in the web of external opinions, leading to anxiety-ridden moments.

I wanted to share five personal stories and insights that shed light on this fascinating connection between anxiety and seeking validation from others. (Or at least I hope they will) with the intent to allow you to think about this differently.

All names are fictional, BTW.

The Approval Seeker's Dilemma

Growing up, I always wanted to be accepted by my peers. I craved that reassuring nod of approval after every achievement, big or small. But the more I sought validation from others, the more anxious I became. It was like I was walking on eggshells, constantly worried about saying or doing the wrong thing. I realized that my #self-worth was hanging precariously on others' opinions. When someone asks me where my biggest transformation came from - it's from knowing that if I accept myself - I've mastered the game of life.

Fear of Rejection: A Heartfelt Tale

Elizabeth always had a fear of rejection. (Don't we all, BTW?)

The thought of someone disliking her was overwhelming, making her avoid social gatherings and miss out on exciting opportunities. Elizabeth's anxiety seemed rooted in this deep need for everyone to like her. Once, she confided that she was afraid of being judged for her quirks, so she put on a mask to fit in.

Here's the truth. After a while, being someone else gets super draining.

We hear this so much, and I can't stress this enough. BE YOURSELF; EVERYONE ELSE IS TAKEN. Oscar Wilde was a legend, and the day I left what other people thought of me out the door, was when my life exponentially changed for the better.

The Perfectionist's Dilemma

Oh, the pressure to be perfect! I can relate.

My friend, *Alex, was a classic perfectionist who seemed to have it all together. But behind closed doors, pursuing perfection took a toll on his mental health. Alex cared so much about what others thought that he couldn't bear the thought of making even the tiniest mistake.

Every flaw felt like a personal failure, and his anxiety soared. It was only when he learned to embrace his imperfections that he found relief and a newfound sense of freedom.

It was brought to my attention that I'm a perfectionist. This is probably true, but I care deeply about my work. What I've learned, though, is not most of the time, people don't know if you make a mistake - only you do inherently. Remember, if you're not making mistakes, you're not trying hard enough!

Battling Imposter Syndrome

My colleague, Lisa, was brilliant; there's no denying that. But she couldn't see it herself. Whenever she received praise or a promotion, the imposter syndrome monster would rear its ugly head. Lisa couldn't help but think that others would eventually realize she wasn't as capable as they believed her to be. Her anxiety took a toll on her confidence, which was hard to watch.

We ALL suffer from #imposter syndrome, so I guess the question is - will you learn to embrace your "flaws" and leave fear out the door - instead of wondering, "What if?"

The Overthinker's Odyssey

Ah, overthinking, my old nemesis! I remember when I used to replay conversations in my head a million times, analyzing every word and facial expression. It was exhausting, and it bred anxiety like wildfire. It took me literally two decades to realize that most people aren't analyzing my every move as much as I thought.

I allowed myself to accept that not everyone will like me, and that's perfectly okay. Embracing this reality has granted me the gift of peace and a lighter heart.

Final Thought

Anxiety and caring about what others think are indeed intertwined in intricate ways.

But I want you to remember, we are all on our unique journeys, and it's okay to be a work in progress. Embrace your imperfections, for they are what make you beautifully human. Seek self-acceptance, surround yourself with supportive souls, and release the need for constant validation.

As you do so, you'll find the anxiety loosening its grip, leaving space for self-love and personal growth. Trust me: Life gets a whole lot brighter when you shine in the authenticity of your own beautiful light. You've got this!

There is Only One You, and THAT is your magic.

XOXO,

Coach Ms.K